Have you noticed that when we use words to describe aging they tend to be negative? Some of the synonyms that one finds in Merriam-Webster include: ancient, geriatric, over-the-hill, decrepit, doddering, senile and overage! “Lexicographers,” people, who compile dictionaries, are tasked, in part, with choosing which words to include when providing a definition. Their use of the aforementioned synonyms represents a societal norm about the way in which we view aging and older adults.
There is no denying that as each of us ages we are likely to face more and more physical, cognitive and life altering challenges. But, if we maintain an overwhelmingly bleak perspective about the aging process, our ability to recognize, acknowledge and engage in joyful and meaningful living can become severely diminished.
Engaging Aging Creatively begins with using positive terms to represent the process of growing older. What if we were to replace a word like decrepit with sturdy? “John, an old, broken and decrepit man, lives in his home by himself, versus, "John has lived in his family home for 50 years and is a sturdy pillar of the neighborhood." It sounds like we might be talking about two different "John’s." But, what if we were talking about two different perspectives of the same person?
Suppose we build on the idea of redefining negative aging vocabulary by expanding our list of positive words to include: inquisitive, astute, experienced, discerning, clever and knowledgeable. It puts a different spin on our thinking, doesn’t it?
Perspective plays a very important role in our ability to change language. If we imagine older age riddled with disease, cognitive loss, loneliness and isolation only, then appropriately, the way in which we converse about these perceptions aligns with what we envision. Viewing aging in this one-dimensional manner deprives us of a fully enriched human experience.
In one of my training sessions recently, a participant shared a story about an 82 year-old man who lives in her facility. He wanted a tattoo, so the staff arranged to make it happen. He wanted to go zip-lining. The staff was exploring appropriate and safe, indoor options to organize the event for him. The staff pictured this man as vital (another word to add to our list) redefining what aging meant to him and to them.
Let’s change our internal dictionary and our individual perspectives about the way in which we talk about growing old. It will make all of the difference for others, as they age, and for us in our own aging process!