I want to get comfortable with my insecurities until I am no longer insecure. I want to be comfortable in my skin so that I do not need to dump any of my discomfort onto someone else in the form of judgment. – Damien Rice
How often do we find ourselves on the precipice of discomfort and shy away from it? Changing the familiar, working closely with someone who seems different from ourselves or trying something new can be daunting. This discomfort can hamper our ability to adjust to situations in which we must do something unfamiliar or awkward, creating a sense of uneasiness.
For those of us working in long-term care settings, saying "no" to discomfort can jeopardize the way in which we care for our residents. Perhaps a team leader asks us to sit with a resident who we perceive as "difficult" because he becomes easily distressed. What do we say or do to keep him calm? Do we choose to look at our phone or talk with a teammate because it is too uncomfortable to engage?
What if we have to work with someone who, in our perception, doesn’t carry their share of the work load? We’d prefer to do the work by ourselves (perhaps with frustration) rather than to be put in this unpleasant situation.
However, learning how to stretch, connect and interpret differently can create opportunities to grow, understand misunderstandings and live comfortably in discomfort.
Have you ever asked yourself why you feel apprehensive or tense in a situation or way of thinking that seems foreign to you? Leo Babauta, best-selling author and life transformer, suggests using these strategies in small doses to master discomfort.
- To begin, pick something that isn’t hard; a new food, an easy exercise, saying hello to someone who you feel edgy around
- Just do a little…and the next time, do it a moment longer
- Sit through the urge of discomfort. Feel it. Watch it.
- Are you starting to complain (internally)?
- Are you looking for ways to avoid it?
- Where do you turn to?
- What happens if you stay with it and don’t do anything?
- Practice it in conversation, even if you don’t feel like it.
In my own life, I continue to hone these strategies. Through fear of feeling embarrassed, not being smart enough, thinking less of myself and making a mistake, I have learned to stay in discomfort. I now understand that the risk of not doing something uncomfortable is greater than the risk of living in discomfort and uneasiness. I felt humiliated after my first presentation failure. Today I speak in front of hundreds of people and feel invigorated! It is now a learning experience when I try a new approach and fail the first time. I apologize when I make a mistake and it gives me the opportunity to try again and laugh with others.
Try to be uncomfortable today. It can be the doorway to new opportunities.